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Do you practice self-compassion?
- Sutton Carers Centre
- Jul 25
- 2 min read
What comes to mind when you think about the word compassion?
Perhaps words such as kindness, care, patience, or empathy...?
We may find that we can give compassion outwardly but struggle to give it back to ourselves. Being compassionate toward ourselves, particularly during times of stress or difficulty can have a positive impact on our wellbeing.
Self-compassion is made up of three core areas:
Self-kindness – This involves thinking about our approach to our friends / loved ones during their times of difficulty, for example what might we say? What tone of voice may we use? What support would we offer? Then consider when you were going through a difficult or stressful period, how did you speak to yourself? Do you set high expectations? Are you harsh on yourself? The concept of self-kindness is that we start to approach ourselves in the same way we would towards others.
Common humanity – this is where we acknowledge that we are not alone in our mistakes or imperfections. As humans, we are not perfect. It also includes acknowledging that facing challenges are a part of life and something that all humans go through in one way or another. These challenges can connect us with others, and something we all share together.
Mindfulness – To take notice and acknowledge our emotions is another core part of self-compassion. It allows us to acknowledge how we are feeling, rather than to push it away. It can enable us to consider how we can care for ourselves through a difficult time.
If you would like to try a self-compassion mindfulness exercise, please listen to the audio below read by our Wellbeing Navigator Kathryn and adapted from Guided Meditation Script for Self Compassion: Embrace Kindne.
One Carer suggested that she may ask a friend to record themselves saying the self-compassion break script so they could listen to it read by someone they loved and trusted.
Selfish or self-full?
We had some great ideas and suggestions coming out of the discussions. One Carer said they made a pro-active conscious decision to be 'selfish'. Saying, "no" to people when they felt they really didn't have capacity to take something else on, or needed some time out, taking examples like following airline instructions to put your oxygen mask on before helping others as a priority and in everyone's best interest.
Another Carer felt uncomfortable using the word selfish, but found a term through research which they felt more comfortable with and introduced the term 'self-full'. The concept emphasises a healthy balance between self-care and caring for others, essentially, it's about being whole and complete within oneself, which allows for greater generosity and positive interactions with the world.
We also had some great resources suggested:
Kristen Neff book and Ted Talk
The Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff website may be helpful as there are little videos breaking down these 3 areas, and links to other resources too.
Use your favourite audio app to listen to the Confessions from the heart Podcasts by Dr Yvette Erasmus:
The underlying principle of NVC (non-violent communication) is about non judgemental, compassionate communication with others and ourselves. Find out more here.
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