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Let's talk about dying (2025)
- Sutton Carers Centre
- Mar 31
- 5 min read
Updated: May 28
We held our second annual Let's talk about dying event on Thursday March 13th.
This has proven to be an invaluable event offering a safe space to have open and honest discussions, air concerns, find out information and ask questions about a topic we really don't talk about enough.
Rather than being left in the dark to navigate your way, or leave loved ones to guess your own wishes, these four sessions cover very practical and useful information to give you the knowledge to feel well-informed and hopefully a bit more open to having these useful conversations.
We recorded the sessions which are available below along with a Q&A summary.
Jump to video, useful links and Q&A summary for:
Clare from Poppy's Funerals talks about funeral options and planning
Q&A summary
What happens when someone dies?
Step by step and practical information on .Gov
Can I be buried somewhere else?
You can be burred on private land as long as you have the landowners permission and the burial is declared in the property Deeds.
Repatriating a body or taking ashes abroad is possible, but you need to check the regulations of the destination country and ensure you have all necessary paperwork.
Can funeral directors arrange a speaker other than a priest for example?
Yes. Most will have a list of Celebrants who are able to take the service. Celebrants may be Humanist, but some are more comfortable blend religious and non-religious elements.
What if someone dies with no money?
If someone dies with no money, the responsibility to provide their care will be via the local authority.
If you are arranging a funeral and receive certain income-related benefits, you may be able to get help via a DWP Funeral Expenses Payment.
There may also be help via:
Debt Repayment Schedules such as Funeral Safe
You can read more about funeral costs and resources on the MoneyHelper website.
Can Poppy's use facilities outside of Lambeth?
No, Poppy's can go anywhere, depending on the plans and wishes.
Do I have to use my local crematorium?
No, you don't have to use your local facilities, just speak with your funeral directors or whomever.
Useful links
My Funeral Wishes Consultation with Poppy’s (free 45mins, no obligation) ring 020 3589 4726 or email holly@poppysfunerals.co.uk
Poppy’s blog for information, advice and guidance on death & dying
More impartial advice and information from Poppy’s: (020) 3589 4726 or www.poppysfunerals.co.uk or @poppysfunerals
Amanda talks about the Palliative Care Coordination (PCC) Hub and Caroline on Carer support
Q&A summary
Contact details
Anyone can call Single point of referral 020 8296 4100 - a bank of people based at the Circle Surgery (Wrythe Green Lane) who answer calls from the public to understand and refer on to district nurses, the palliative care team, to the two urgent care teams, continence service - they will triage which direction you need to go in.
The PCC Hub is there for any adult who has a life limiting disease.
Videos featured in the presentation
Advance Care Planning (ACP) video
Dying for beginners by Dr Kathryn Mannix
How do I set up a Universal Care Plan?
Contact your GP, only NHS clinicians can start or update a UCP. You can read about UCPs here.
What if someone doesn't have capacity e.g. with dementia and LPA is in place?
The PCCH Team will work together with the Attorney so everyone knows the story to ensure this moveable flexible document reflects as much as possible the person it relates to.
In an ideal world, you would complete this whilst in sound mind to reflect your wishes without question.
What if I just want to die in my sleep?
This is not always possible, but staff will help you determine what is most important to you, e.g. my family and what I am leaving behind; not dying in pain. Staff will help to unpick all aspects to help make appropriate decisions.
Simon talks about St Raphael's and the Wellbeing Centre
Q&A summary
Bereavement support
You don't have to be bereaved of a person who was at St Raphael's
What is the aim of the bereavement support?
People feel bereavement at different times. The aim is to empower people to get on with their lives.
Is St Raphael's just for people with Cancer?
No. Hospice's cover all life-limiting conditions, including dementia. Users are accepted as long as they are 'non-disruptive', but anyone else will be sign-posted to other services.
What is the first step to get involved in the Wellbeing Centre?
Visit the website for contact details and call up for a chat. Then come and visit. St Raphael's offers a safe, open and inclusive and they try to remove as barriers to access services, such as forms.
What sessions does the Wellbeing Centre run?
Sessions include art (it's about the process, not about talent!), music, programmes like 'living well' with guest speakers e.g. nutrition/ benefit advice, pamper sessions etc, armchair yoga, and complimentary therapies. There is also a regular social group and specific Men's and Women's groups.
What are the group sizes?
It varies depending on the activity, but sessions are kept small to allow people to feel comfortable.
Who can access Compassionate Neighbours?
The criteria is approaching end of life due to age of illness and socially isolated. This also helps to offer respite to Carers.
Ifat from Citizens Advice Sutton talks about Wills and Inheritance Tax
Q&A summary
Inheritance and Inheritance tax
Intestacy - who inherits if someone dies without a will? Information on .Gov
Inheritance Tax helpline: 0300 123 1072
Where is the Will?
No-one has the 'right' to see your Will, but as there is no central store for copies of Wills, make sure someone knows where your Will is stored otherwise your wishes may not be followed.
Making changes to your Will
You can make a change or 'codicil' but if you want to change everything you do need to create a new Will.
Useful links on Wills
Making a Will - .Gov
Updating your Will - Moneyhelp
Intestacy - what happens without a will? Click here
Did you know you can search for historic wills? Click here
Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA)
When a person dies, any Lasting Power of Attorney automatically stops, so bear this in mind if you are currently an Attorney. Upon death any administrative responsibilities are designated to the named Executors in a will.
You can read about LPAs here.
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